Archive | March, 2014

The Colour White

28 Mar

The day I realised my first strand of white hair, I was incredibly excited.

It marked the beginnings of my entry into a shared experience with the older and wiser (??) group of human beings.

To date, there’s been two strands of white hair that would pop up noticeably on the top of my head. It amuses me. They seem to taunt me each time by growing faster and whiter each time I dispose of them.

“You will never get rid of us. We’re here to stay.”

A classmate recently told me that I shouldn’t pull them out by the roots. Apparently you damage the hair roots around it when you do that; promoting more hair loss.

Horrors.

Am I to be robbed of one of my favourite pastimes – the searching and pulling out of white hairs…?

Oh, and did I mention that the searchable count of white hair has increased from 2 to 3 strands?

The Aftermath

23 Mar

 What does it feel like to be graduating?

“Me, me! Ask me!” 

“Why?”

“I’m graduating in 2 months!”
A soon-to-be graduate can often be on a emotional roller-coaster ride.

On one day she might be excited to finally be done. On another, she might be stressed because there is uncertainty surrounding her future plans. The next, she might be depressed because she feels sure that stepping through the doorway of graduation is only the beginning; the beginning of the trek through life’s mundane messiness.

What does it feel like to be graduating?

Soon-to-be graduate: “Haha..”

Interrogator: “Why?”

Soon-to-be graduate: “…”

A half-empty bag of Old Town Hazelnut coffee.
Stacks of half-used post-it notes.
Piles upon piles of discarded notes.
Mindmaps.
More notes.
Cheat sheets from ENGL 229A – the course that pushed her in the direction of English Language.

The years, 5 to be precise, of her undergraduate life are coming to a close.

Questions and uncertainty lie ahead of this soon-to-be graduate’s life. She is excited, anxious, and scared.

Excited that she will be receiving a concrete piece of evidence of the accomplishment she spent half a decade on.

Anxious to find out the next direction her life will take.

Scared that her purpose in life will not be found.

Yet, she wills to keep choosing to put one foot in front of the other. Loving where each step, forward or backward, will take her. Enjoying what’s left of her undergraduate experience and looking forward to what the uncertainty will bring.

When time permits she will then set forth to achieve the following:

– piece together the necklace requested of her by her aunt
– create more calligraphy art pieces
– bake
– try out new recipes
– page through all the half-read books
– clear her wardrobe
– sort through her stuff and try to reduce her belongings to 2 luggages for ease of movement

Here’s to the last 12 days of school!

Bumps and Buses

21 Mar

It really annoys me when buses have jerky stops.

Now, why don’t I say, I really love it when buses have smooth stops?

By making the first statement, I am implying the second. However, the first comment that would come out of my mouth with regards to the topic would probably be the former.

Often we don’t realise how comfortable and smooth our bus journey is unless we are confronted with a really bumpy and uncomfortable one.

In light of an unpleasant journey, we make sense of the massive skills a bus driver must have to not make awfully uncomfortable stops. 

Likewise, we don’t seem to appreciate the goodness that we have in life unless we encounter bumps along the way.

Perhaps, another human flaw; the consistent folly of falling into apathetic living till something or someone brings to your life unpleasant bumps and abrupt stops.

The Dreaming Cycles; what happens when you’re awake

8 Mar

The Dream Cycle1

I have a problem.

My problem is that I dream too much.

I dream for what seems like a second, only to realise that light has turned to night, and more than just a couple hours have gone by. I go through stages of what I would like to call the “dreaming cycle”, only to realise that I’ve gone full circle and possibly not moved an inch forward.

Stage #1: The Dreaming Dreamer

Symptoms:

  • You’re inspired.
  • You sit through Creative Writing class when your professor shares with the class his experience with the publication process and immediately start making a mental checklist of things like where to submit your articles, catchy topic sentences…
  • You spend hours looking through calligraphy/graphic design pieces/videos/photos/articles, reasoning with yourself that you are simply getting inspired

Stage #2: The Driven Dreamer

Symptoms:

  • You feel like anything is possible.
  • You’re out to conquer the world.
  • You have 10 things on your checklist and you WILL have all of them done by today

Stage #3: The Depressed Dreamer

Symptoms:

  • The day is gone and you completed.. half of one of the things of your list. In other words, you completed nothing.
  • It’s been 4 months since your last blog post.
  • Everyone’s work seems better than yours, there’s probably not going to be anyone out there who will appreciate your art, or what you call art
  • You end up doing nothing all day, but yet you’re tired and mentally exhausted

Stage #4: The Deranged Dreamer

Symptoms:

  • You’re mad
  • What are dreams anyway?!
  • My life is never going to amount to anything

Stage #5: The Defeated Dreamer

Symptoms:

  • You have decided that its time to get your head out of the clouds and focus on the path ahead of you
  • School and work become a priority
  • You avoid the things that used to inspire you – tumblr/VIMEO/instagram/deviantart etc
  • When you do go onto any of these sites, you feel like everything is condemning you in the face and you’re reminded of your incompetence
  • …. oh wait
  •  look at that beautiful calligraphy work
  • HEY, I could do that to!!

Go back to stage one and repeat it all over again.

I can’t say that this stages happen in this order, or if they even happen at all.

I do think that my problem lies with my impatience and lack of perseverance, which is one of the reasons I’ve written this post. I want to remind myself of my acknowledgement of these weaknesses I have, and to hopefully see improvement in future years.

Now, if, I had everything in my control, this is how my ideal day would look like:

1. Wake up when my body decides its well-rested and not when my alarm clock rings

2. Indulge in training: Spiritual (reading the Bible and other books that are waiting to be read), Physical (exercising)

3. Create a calligraphy piece

4. Have an awesome photography shooting day, perhaps catch a pug or two

5. Actually, I would play with my pug

6. Make a video

7. Start and finish reading a new book

8. Write a blog post

9. Submit an article for any publication

10. Write a book from cover to cover and get it published

And there you have it, Joy’s perfect day.

Disclaimer: Enjoy this rant for what it is, but do realise that it is a rant, and an exaggerated one at that. It is heartfelt and honest, and hopefully to a certain extent, humourous, but I do have a grasp on reality – I promise.